LOVE, WONDER, AND COMMITMENT TO CULTURE
Guest Contributor: Derrick Prempeh
It’s been almost 365 days since I became a dad - and here I am at work trying to figure out a gift for my daughter, Parker’s first tbirthday. Scouring through Google and Amazon to find the perfect present for my little angel. In my 40 years of life, the love I have for Parker is totally different than any emotion I’ve ever experienced. I am not saying that I am hard as a rock or I can’t show love, but this love is something new. A love that makes me strive to be an overachiever at work, search for programs that will help her to be a great student, and attempt to get the immunization records of any child that will come close to my daughter. Kindly put, I want her to have the world at her feet. I don’t want her to be without anything that she desires. She has changed my world. I have such a great big smile when I look at her. My friends warn me that things will change when she starts talking, but until then, take as many pics as possible.
This is all a whirlwind for me and my wife, but we are here for it. Parker’s growing too fast though. I remember it like yesterday, being in the delivery room when she made her appearance into this world. I was star-struck! It’s one thing to know a baby is coming in to your life in nine months, but it’s another thing when you actually see their face for the first time. Whoa!! That’s when it gets real.
Being a first generation Ghanaian-American, I feel the importance of ensuring that Parker embraces my, and now her culture. As a parent, I saw my parents underestimate the work necessary to continue language and traditional rites - not for lack of trying, but life has it’s ways. I can remember as a child - hearing my parents speak to each other and their friends in their native Ghnaian dialect - Twi - but they’d then in turn speak to me in English, as if me simply being of Ghanian decent would automate my understanding of the language. The logic, now as a parent, makes sense, but this parental decision also left me with a less comprehensive attachment to my family’s native language.
There are many things that are important to a dad, a father, a parent, a caregiver. But for me, one of the most important aspects of my relationship to Parker stems from my connection to my heritage - that of the Ghanaian culture. My parents made a choice that gave me a great life, one of great care and fulfillment, but left me wanting more of what I love and what makes me who I am - A Ghanaian-American. That desire has driven me to ensure an overt connectivity of our culture within Parker’s life. I informed my parents that whenever they see Parker, only speak to her in the Akan language. We’ve also given my little angel a traditional name along with her birth given name. In the Ghanaian culture, children are given a surname - Miss is equivalent to “Mameh” (Ma-may). Also in the Ghanaian culture, children are named according to the day of the week they were conceived. In Parker’s case, she was born on a Tuesday; therefore she was given the name “Abena”(Ah-ben-na). Finally, she receives the maiden name of my mother (her grandmother) “Serwah-Bonsu”(Ser-wah-Bone-sew). When it is put together, her name is “Mameh Abena Serwah-Bonsu.” A beautiful and meaningful name that, in a way, fulfills a continued legacy of the love, family, and togetherness we’ve created early in our family’s time in America. Parker even received her name during a ceremony held in my mother’s home with family members and representatives of the Ashanti tribe present - a glorious day indeed.
All in all, so far watching Parker grow within this first year has been an enlightening experience for me and my wife. Like many fathers - I can say I have learned many of the hidden secrets of our little lovebug Parker - like being sick during the teething process, who she tends to reach for when she’s in a certain mood, how she smiles or coos at certain times of the day - oh and always have a change of clothes when stepping out of the home (I learned this one the hard way). These are the little things that remind me of the miracle that is my daughter. As I learn and grow with my Parker, so do I learn and grow with my loving wife. A wife that has embraced my commitment to culture and made it a culture of our home. Sure, we do all the same things many of our friends do with their kids, but we often show up with our “Ghanaian stroller” (a piece of cloth that ties Parker to my wife’s back instead of a Bjorn). It’s this discovery of cultural continuity + love + awakening + absolute humility that has taught me, Parker, and my wife that there is so much more to come and we can’t wit for the ride.
