My name is Jason DaWayne Smith. Why did my mom spell DaWayne in such a unique way? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that black folks have a thing for "owning" the spelling of conventional child names. Why did she name me Jason Smith - the most common name in America? Maybe she wanted the best of both worlds. A common name that looks super safe on a resume, but a little flavor in the middle for "the culture". I honestly don't know, but these are all crazy decisions we make as parents, and more now than ever as dads.
I've spent the last 6 years improvising this idea of "being a father". We'll go into my story at some point in the future, but I imagine, just like you - I'm out here figuring out the "ways of the dad" every day, hour, minute, microsecond. It's been a journey, one in which, for me, can be lonely at times. A professional man of color, living in a major city - I'm fortunate to spend a significant amount of time near fellow white dads, older parents, and suburban parents. But there's this thing. I don't even know what it is, but this thing that maybe makes the experience as a dad of color, somewhat, if not, very unique. We come from this cultural definition, that often omits the word "father". For many reasons. Some involve inflated stereotypes of abandonment, some involve limited commercial and cultural representation, some involve death, illness, whatever the case - our American culture doesn't actually perceive men of color as "Dads" in the Hallmark/Disney sort of sense.
It's because of this reality, that I started this site. We'll occasionally visit some of the data and statistics relevant to fatherhood and progress, but I think it's safe to say that we know the following:
Fatherhood has become much more popular in the recent decades, especially among younger parents, particularly multi-cultural families.
Household roles have evolved in an amazing way, and the results have finally shifted more shared responsibility expectations between dad and mom.
There aren't a lot of outlets for dads of color to connect, learn about how to parent, and gain confidence in their role as the greatest person on earth to their children (sorry mom - we can dream can't we?).
We all get inspired by great stories, resources, and references to men we admire and can learn from.
Most of the content on Breakin' Dad will pay attention to these 4 observations, and will create space for you to join the dialogue in a way that helps you become the best father you can be, and also inspire others within your community.
I'm looking forward to the journey ahead and learning with and from all the amazing dads, moms, and inspiring people that will spend time with me and fellow guest writers at Breakin' Dad.
