AN IMPERFECT FATHER’S TALE OF A PERFECT LOVE

Guest contributor: Leon Jones

I grew up on the Southside of Chicago, my mother and father were both 18 when I entered the picture. The first 10 or so years of my life were spent with my mother and/or grandmother who both loved me unconditionally. We lived the typical inner city public assisted life. Bounced around apartments, family member’s homes and schools, dealt with evictions, limited resources, no lights, sometime no gas during Chicago winter. Let’s just say, stability was not a foundational principal we lived by but with Love we endured.

This way of living had a huge impact on my academic performance. While I didn’t live with my father at this time, we developed a good relationship and spent time together. I loved sports as a kid and my father and mother both attended my sporting events and other memorable moments of my young life. Having both of their support was important to me, but I couldn’t help this constant wonder… “Why aren’t my parents together like those parents in the movies?” Why was my life different?

Around 5th grade I moved in with my Aunt (my father’s sister). The home we lived in was the same home that my Grandfather, a single father, raised all of my uncles and aunt. I attended the same elementary school as my older family members, which was a huge shift for me - particularly at this moment of my life’s uncertainty. Being in an environment and community where everyone knew my family represented a new sense of unexpected stability. I had often visited this school as a young kid during the summer and always enjoyed the comfort and support of the experience. However, this time was different, as this school, MY family’s elementary school, and now MY elementary school - would be my permanent residence for the next few years, and the stability that came along with it was exactly what I needed at this point in my life.

Early in my elementary school career I began to show noticeable improvements in my academic performance; my young athletic performance began to flourish as well. My dad was an exceptional athlete as a youngster and it excited me to hear that I was just like him. Little Leon they called me! We always shared sports, that was the uniting force in our relationship! It is why I chose to be an Athletic Trainer as an adult because I love the uniting force of sport. I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I look back, I realize that this decision - the decision to attend a supportive school, with family roots, during a time of endurance and domestic uncertainty - I realize that in God’s infinite wisdom, He was preparing me for the life He wanted me to live. I’m still thankful for this period of my life and how it shaped me as a man and the father I’d come to be.

In retrospect - I loved my father, but there were gaps in his presence. I was blessed to have a row of strong men who stood up and supported me “by committee”. All of the uncles, cousins, family friends, neighbors and coaches that took on the responsibility of nurturing the growth of a young man like me. While my young relationship with my father, and maybe men at large, wasn’t “picture perfect” I came to realize - despite these imperfections - these were all men who were “present” and willing to pour as much they could into my life. These early experiences have had a profound impact on me as the Father of 2 boys and a baby girl (13, 10 and 2) and as an Athletic Trainer. I want them to always understand that I am not and will never be perfect but I will always be present, willing and forever responsible for their growth and early visions of manhood. Our experiences, even as youngsters - shape our future selves and while my story may sound like a story unheard, its my story and I’m thankful for the imperfect men that built my identity as a father today.