RAISING GIRLS: MY GREATEST CHALLENGE...MY GREATEST JOY

Guest contributor: Alexander G Houston

Fatherhood, you ask? It’s really hard. Those are the first two words that come to mind when I reflect on raising two daughters…18 months apart. It’s REALLY, REALLY hard. I’m almost ashamed to say that because I’m raising two fantastic girls. When I think about special moments like the infectious laugh of my youngest daughter when she says or does something funny or the tenacious way my oldest daughter will focus on doing a puzzle until she has completely conquered the 300, 400, or 500 pieces, I am in awe of them and their unique individual gifts. I am completely and totally in love with my daughters but when asked the simple question to describe fatherhood, the best I can come up with is, it’s really hard.

What do I mean when I say it’s hard? Loosing sleep if I raise my voice at them throughout the day. Dissecting whether or not my loss of control will harm them in the years to come. It’s hard because I get nervous before they take a test in school not because I don’t think they’ll do well but because I am fully invested in seeing the fruit from the studying efforts of my 3 rd and 1 st grader. It’s hard because in the wee hours of the morning, I’m pondering if they like the life that our family has built or I’m wondering what kind of career they will pursue. It’s really hard because sometimes when I need just a few minutes of silence or personal time, I feel bad and ask myself, can they handle their dad not wanting to talk right now? As I sit and write these musings, I know some may be thinking, ‘You’ve gone crazy’, or ‘you’re being over the top’. But fatherhood is the greatest responsibility a man can have and I just want to get it right.

As a father, it’s my job to love them and to make sure my daughters know how to love others. It’s my job to reinforce the greatness that God has placed inside of them and never allow them to settle for mediocrity. As a father, it’s my job to provide for them to the best of my ability, while letting them know that nothing in life comes free. It’s my job to ensure they understand the joy to be found in life, to teach them to leave ample opportunity in their lives for fun days filled with boisterous laughter. As a father, it’s my job to hold them responsible for their actions because life only gets more complicated, irrational, and frustrating as you get older and even in the worst conditions, my daughters have to be able to make good choices. As a father, it’s my job to forgive them, to hold them, to bless them, and I just want to get it right. So, yeah….it’s really hard. But the old adage is true, no pain…no gain. So with the hardness and pain, I get the absolute joy and privilege of experiencing fatherhood with two amazing young ladies.

So what is it like to raise two daughters? Exhilarating, amazing, and fantastic! They are great kids and the old adage holds true, “if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.” The job of fatherhood is not for the faint at heart but it is the most fulfilling experience I have ever had. It is a pleasure and joy to make them breakfast and kiss them on their way out of the door. I can’t imagine my life without them and count down the hours of the day until I can see them again. To all my fellow dads out there, don’t quit, keep going, it may be hard, but I have a funny feeling and a sneaky suspicion that we’re doing better than we think.